


Mistake

by SammyDang



Category: Wicked - All Media Types, Wicked RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, chenzel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:14:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23476027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyDang/pseuds/SammyDang
Summary: Kristin knows very well that this is a mistake.
Relationships: Kristin Chenoweth/Idina Menzel
Kudos: 10





	Mistake

This is a mistake.

The thought has stuck in my head for months. Every time I'm free to think about anything, I will think about this thought.

Especially after I have sex with her, and she lies beside me, sleep tight. But I can't sleep. I can only lie quietly on the bed, look at the ceiling, and listen to her sleep breath. These days, it gets harder for me to try to sleep even though I'm exhausted because of sex. My body is tired, but my mind is more conscious.

And I remind myself that this is a mistake.

In love with her is a mistake. And have sex with her is a bigger mistake.

Not because she's a woman. But because she's a married woman.

I used to think I was full of dignity. But since I fell in love with her, I realize I don't have any self-respect whatsoever. I let myself become a secret lover, become an affair.

But all the guilty feelings will disappear from my mind whenever we're together. All the stolen happiness makes my heart grows wings.

And my house turns into a hiding place for all those mistakes. It started from the moment I let her take control on my bed, and I couldn't think about anything but the most basic sexual instinct. And then she took over my kitchen, with all the time she woke up before me and made me breakfast. A simple breakfast, but it tasted like the sweetest happiness. Finally, she had a spare key to my house, which allow her to come over at any time and make me can't think about anything but the most basic sexual instinct on my bed. A full circle.

I made a mistake because I fell in love with her.

Sometimes, I ask myself, why? Why her, and why I love her that much?

Of course, she's gorgeous. But to be honest, she's not one of the most beautiful women on this planet.

I don't know how it starts. I just know that I realized I love her since I felt the world around me turned to blur, and my world brightened at the same time when I saw her smile. And I will smile unconsciously. The more I looked at her, the harder it gets to not look at her. And her smile, especially when she smiles to me, be stamped on my heart.

This thought brings me back to reality. I turn to see her. She's sleeping, and her lips curve a little. She looks peaceful.

I gently touch her cheek and stroke her skin.

We are so close to each other, yet our distance always so far.

I think it's time for me to leave. Step out of this wrong love. Start with leaving this bed, then leaving my house right now, and go somewhere else.

I slowly sit up, try not to wake her up. But right when my feet touch the floor, her arms wrap around my waist and hold me tight.

I turn around. She's looking at me with her big sad eyes. I'm waiting, but she doesn't say anything. She only uses her eyes to express herself. I turn away and sigh. I cannot continue to do this anymore.

I remove her arms from embracing me. But she holds me tighter, and she whispers.

"Don't..."

I close my eyes. She sits up, kisses my bare shoulder. Then she slowly guides me to lie back to the bed. And she's on top of me, her fingers and her kisses touch every inch of my body. And my mind's gone. Again.

The next morning, when I wake up, the other half of the bed is empty. I smirk at myself. I never have the courage to really leave her. But I already used to her leaving me in the morning without saying anything.

One day, I will be able to step out of this guilty love. One day.

But now, I can only close my eyes. I think about the first time she said she loved me. And I put myself in the happy pink bubble.

And I forgot that this is a mistake.


End file.
